Sunday, October 7, 2012

Parque Warner

Before this post gets underway, I should let you know: I love theme parks. I really do. I love forgetting on which planet it is that I am and thinking that I am worlds away in a comic book or a movie or some magical land. I love seeing imagination be turned into something tangible, into buildings you can admire and enter, into a real-life world you can visit and explore. Love it. Love it all.

With that in mind, I present to you, Parque Warner.

Parque Warner is gorgeous and lovely, but you should know, it's really tiny. There's only one park, and they give you this deal where you purchase your ticket for one day and come back the next day for free. And it's great. But you don't really need two days to see Parque Warner. You don't even really need a whole day.

The park first opened in 2002 under the name Warner Bros. Movie World Madrid, which was changed to Parque Warner in 2006. It is divided into five different themed areas: DC Super Heroes World, Warner Bros. Studios, Cartoon Village, Old West Territory, and Hollywood Boulevard.

This is the haunted mansion ride. You see how people are sitting on something resembling a bench? Well, this "bench" was detached from the walls, and during the ride, they moved side to side while the walls and ceiling moved around as well, giving one the illusion of being suspended upside down. There was a little girl next to me who, as soon as this started happening, began wailing (I am not exaggerating, I really do mean wailing) to please let her down because she didn't want to be there and to please let her down. Her dad was laughing at her the whole time. And I got off with a spectacular headache.

Wayne Manor.

The enigmatic Gotham City Park. This place is closed off, and at no point did we see it open for any reason, nor are there any signs with times at which it is supposed to open. And yet - if you look closely at the following image, you'll see a trash can. Like, for people to throw away their junk.

What gives?!

This is where we nomed, Gotham City Grill. David's burger was called Batman and mine Gotham. It was his sacred duty to protect me for the rest of the day.

I learned how to shoot, guys! I was dead on every time (Ha, get it?).

This was the worst. ride. ever. As a wooden coaster, I understand that it's supposed to be a bumpy ride. It's normal. It's expected. But you know what? It's not really supposed to be excruciating. Which it was.
Funny anecdote: When the train started up, David suddenly realized that he had forgotten to take his glasses off, so my mother took them from him, but being that the train had already started moving, she didn't have time to put them anywhere and simply held on to them. Well, she squeezed them so hard while on the ride that she popped one of the lenses off. My mother is hard. core.

How hilarious is it that most signs are in English?

I couldn't help myself. He's just so goshdarned handsome.

This ride is awesome. But I'm awful at it.

See? Although I choose to think that the last digit really is a U, which stands for Uniquely-awesome-and-possessing-a-talent-not-really-measurable-in-numbers. I think it fits, don't you?

You see the little white squares on the chest and the shield? See the black dot at the center? You're supposed to shoot at that little thing. I gave up and took pictures instead.

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